Monday, January 5, 2009

Parodies of Job Letters

Welcome to 2009! This is the year you're going to write your dissertation!

I've just come back from MLA (the Modern Language Association's annual conference and job smackdown) in San Francisco. While I was there, I noticed several job postings that somehow didn't look quite right...and upon closer inspection, I realized they were marvelous parodies by

For a little sampling:

"Unfortunately, my dissertation chair has decided that her perverse amusement is more important than my professional advancement. I agree that it is, mind you, but I would still prefer to have defended this semester."

- Anita Gedaclu

Even if you're not in English, Languages, Literature, or Cultural Studies (the target audience for these letters), you can still get a kick out of how these letters poke fun at academia, boiler plate cover letters, the desperation of job seekers, and the overall stress of writing a dissertation and looking for jobs.

"I feel confident that I could offer classes at the lover-division, upper-division, and graduate level in Homoerotic 19th-Century U.S. Critical Writing, The Fireside Poets, and transatlantic hemispheric New Jersey Literature. Techncially, I do not feel confident about anything, but I'm told that is a standard phrasing."

-Anita Gedaclu

There's this applicant to Riverdale University, who mentions writing his dissertation under the influence of Juan Valdez and Captain Morgan:

Click on image to enlarge

There are letters from Riverdale University, the Yemen Institute of Polytechnicality, and the State University of New York, Yonkers. Go to to see all 5 letters. Enjoy!

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